The Very Last Performance of Krunchy the Clown
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There is greasepaint on his face,
A ginger wig upon his head
And those far too baggy trousers
Striped with blue and white and red
And secreted in a pocket
Hides his trademark cricket bat
That he waves towards the audience
Should any jokes fall flat
He wears a pink carnation
Tucked into his right lapel
It squirts water in the eyes of kids
Who try to ring the bell
That is hanging from his trouser cord
The children gather round to ring his bell
Get a wet face and watch
His trousers falling down
We all love Krunchy
He is our favourite clown
We’ve laughed at him since we were little children
Krunchy’s always been around
Waiting in the wings
Sips from a hip flask full of rum,
Takes a long pull at his cigarette
Then starts to chew his thumb
Something doesn’t feel right
His energy has gone
But he owes it to his audience
He knows he must go on
His hands have started trembling
He is suddenly afraid,
Sweat is pouring down his forehead
Perhaps it’s just his age.
The tumbles hurt too much now
And the bruises just won't heal
A clown’s job is really not one for
A pensioner he feels
We all love Krunchy
He is our favourite clown
We’ve laughed at him since we were little children
Krunchy’s always been around
It's time! He leaps onto the stage
The people clap and cheer
With his huge boots flapping wildly
No one notices his fear
He smiles his painted smile and then
Performs a painful jig
Then he makes one final pratfall
On his very final gig
The audience cheer wildly
But Krunchy doesn't stir
And gradually the noise subsides
Till nothing can be heard
And then the curtains close
They kneel remove his wig
There’s a siren in the distance
It was Krunchy’s final gig
We all loved Krunchy
He was our favourite clown
We’ve laughed at him since
We were in our mother’s arms
Krunchy’s always been around
We can’t believe it
The tears are running down
We feel like we have lost a member of our family
Cos Krunchy’s always been around
And Krunchy was our favourite clown